An inadvertent lie.

Did you know that human beings can get heartworms?

Did you even WANT to know that?  I know I sure as hell did not!

So what is the point in my telling you this?  Today I had to stop in our vet's office to take in Molly's poo sample and get her started on the first part of her lyme vaccine.  As if the overwhelming joy of shuffling doggie turds into a ziploc baggie were not enough pleasure for one day, the kids were along for the ride.  While I was there, I had to get a refill on Molly's monthly heartworm meds.  On the reception desk is this model of a heart with heartworms.  It was really creepy-looking.  I actually didn't even notice it until Katie asked what it was, and in the interest of being informative, honest and open with my kids, I explained what it was.  I added, in fact, that part of the reason we were there today was so we could get Molly's heartworm medicine.

A few moments later, Molly's poo was on its way to wherever they look at the doggie poo (what a fun job!) and she got her first part of her lyme vaccine.  The kids were so proud that she didn't even cry when she got her shot.  I'm certain they expected her to break out wailing and screaming when the needle came in sight, just like they do.  As we're departing, Katie starts welling up with tears.  When I ask what's wrong, she says "Molly has HEARTWORMS."  I assured her that she most definitely DOES NOT have heartworms, and that the medication she is taking is to keep her from getting heartworms.  Hysterical at this point, she then says "can I get heartworms?"  I assured her that in the history of humankind, no person has ever gotten heartworms.  Only dogs get heartworms (I think). 

It took me some time to fully convince her that (a) Molly was not going to have worms crawling out of her heart, or any other orifice for that matter, and (b) Molly licking her face was not going to give her heartworms, as heartworms cannot be transmitted from dog to person, AND (c) the medicine we give Molly every month will KEEP her from getting heartworms. 

And then that damn google proved me all wrong.   You know I just had to google "humans get heartworms" and sho nuf:

Can humans get heartworm disease?
Yes, but it is very rare. Usually in humans, the worms migrate to the lungs instead of the heart. Here they form a lesion that can be seen on X-rays. There are normally few symptoms noticed with human heartworm infestation. Surgical removal of the lung lesion may be performed, if necessary.

EW!

So yeah, I lied.  I had to.  The child would be awake every night for the next month worrying about getting heartworms and freaking out if the dog came within 3 feet of her.