8 posts tagged “i hope they remember this when they're older”
Manic Birthday Party Mom has officially been laid to rest.
Yes, sorry to disappoint, but Katie's upcoming six year fete will not be the crazed, overthemed/underplanned extravaganza that I have been known for in years past. There will be no erections of the Barbie Dream House in birthday cake. I don't even have any immediate plans for an intricately designed birthday invitation as I have been known for in years past (although that might change this weekend -- I could use a sample for my portfolio, so the effort would be worth it for the business). Nope. This year, per the request of the Queen herself, she wants a simple birthday party at a local indoor playzone (think Little Gym but for bigger kids), where they provide not only all the fun a child can have in a single hour, but all the paper goods, balloons, and even pizza and juice. All I have to show up with is my person, my two chillruns, and enough cupcakes for the brood. Oh, and a #6 candle so she can blow it out.
How will I ever manage to not turn this simple affair into grounds for divorce? Shawn won't know what to do with himself and all the time he'll have to sit and, well, breathe, without my having him run to every candy store on the East Coast to find the exact type and color of gummy fruit slices.
I'm certain I'll manage to overcomplicate matters somehow. Oh yes, favors. Yeah. I'll make that a clusterfuck in no time flat.
It's bizarre how getting ready to go on vacation feels a little bit like you
have to really get your shit together--and by that I mean more than just
making sure you don't forget to pack your underwear (which, for the record,
I notoriously forget OFTEN when we go away. Can't tell you how many times
I've had to trek to K-Mart down the shore to buy undies. Too many, I'm
afraid). To that end, I've got my lists -- my packing list, my shopping
list, my stuff to take care of before we leave list, etc. etc. And then I
have this totally insane list for the kids' caregivers, my dear MIL, BIL and
future SIL. And that list is insane because it has like, everything, in
it. All the important phone numbers, school info, the pediatrican info, bus
pickup/dropoff times -- I've even included the dropoff/pickup procedure for
Jonathan. It's freakishly detailed, so much so that my inlaws are likely to
think that I've completely lost my mind. They might be a tad correct in
that assumption.
At the beginning of the week I was still feeling that mixture of
nervous/excited that I spoke of previously. That was quickly replaced by
complete and total panic as I was typing up said "insane psycho
control-freak list". While doing so, I realized that if, God forbid,
something were to happen to Shawn or myself, we had nothing down on paper to
say who gets/does what. With anything -- the kids, the house, the money
(not that we have much of that, but still). Nothing. Not that we hadn't
discussed it--we had guardians picked out ages ago, but no will or other
estate planning stuff that would legally spell out all those terms. In a
bit of a haste, I bought and downloaded Quicken Willmaker 2008 and drafted a
will just to get the general "who gets/does what" should something happen to
the hubster or myself.
We still have to execute it, which we plan on doing right before we jump on
our plane Friday morning. While it doesn't clearly have all the directives
that I would like it to have (like specific dollar amounts and shares and
what to do with this or that), it's something.
This type of stuff is never fun. All the what-ifs, imagining the worst case
scenario (if we both die together), will we have enough life insurance to
cover everything? Do we have enough? Those answers are not yet clear, and
we've got some more thinking and discussing and planning ahead in that
regard.
In other news, Mexico is less than 48 hours away and, after the day I had
with my two rugrats, I'll likely be running on to the plane. Katie is off
of school Wednesday-Friday this week, and she and The Boy fought nonstop
today (must say that 80% of the battles were instigated by Jon, as per
usual). I also had my girlfriend's 4-year-old today. After a breakfast of
homemade french toast, we did a quick trip to the library for storytime,
followed by a visit to the soft pretzel factory (it's becoming our Wednesday
tradition), then back home. In a desperate effort to ward off any whining
and bickering, I had this wacky brainstorm of a craft idea where we
hot-glued pinecones to paper plates, painted coffee filters with
watered-down tempera paints, attached a red pompom, googly eyes and pipe
cleaner legs. Voila, a turkey! I even had the kids run out into the yard
and scavenge for some fallen leaves to glue to the plate, so it somewhat
looks like the turkey is sitting in the leaves. They turned out really cute...
Yesterday I woke with the intentions of getting all the party photos organized along with a detailed update of how the whole birthday party extravaganza went on Sunday. Shortly after I got the photo slideshow together, I did something to my back and have not been able to function since. I can't bend from the waist and I can barely walk without a great deal of pain. I even resorted to taking some leftover percocet from Jonathan's c-section, which did not do much other than make me loopy and sleepy. I am on my way to the doctor this morning to see what my options are as far as treatment. I'm really scared. The pain makes it nearly impossible to do anything for the kids, and that is where the fear really takes hold. I'm trying not to let the fear get the best of me, but when you can't do simple things for yourself or for your kids, like getting their clothes out or getting them dressed or preparing their food, without feeling sharp stabs in your back, it starts to mess with your head.
In any event, the party was a blast. From the feedback we got from our many little guests and their parents, it was a success. I hope to provide a more detailed update at some point, but right now sitting here is quite painful, so I must adjourn. Below is the link for the photo montage created yesterday for the party.
The Double-Buggin Birthday Bash 2007
ETA: for those who work for Nazis, here's a link to photos posted on my website: Birthday Pics
In honor of the upcoming fete on Sunday celebrating the births of my darling daughter and son (oops, only four months late, sorry buddy), I give you a primer on how to pull off a half-assed joint birthday party for two kids:
Two months before event: find and book location (cool, cheap, area park with playground and pavilion), determine theme (bugs and butterflies), make a vague mental list of the party food and guest list. Spend an entire day extracting images of bugs and butterflies in Photoshop to be utilized as custom graphic brushes for the custom, personalized profesionally-printed invitations you've decided to make in your spare stolen time. Agonize over catchy invitation wording (many Google searches involved). Contemplate the social etiquette of having a birthday party for both of your children and determine how this will be perceived by other parents. Decide to design two invitations -- one for Katie only to take to her classmates at school and the other for friends and family, for fear that classmates' parents would be offended or think they would be obligated to bring the kid's little bro a birthday present. Find the cutest butterfly and dirt/bug cupcakes EVAH on some website and plan to incorporate them into the party. Don't write ANYTHING down because, of course, you can remember all of the details. You're smart like that, right? And, last but not least, completely shift your attention to everything else BUT. Don't give planning another thought because hey, you've got a whole two months to get everything sorted out.
Three weeks before event: Upload completed invitations to online printer because you totally forgot to do this sooner. Pray that they are delivered quickly so they can be distributed. Forget to hand-deliver four invitations to your neighbors. Inform them verbally about the party a week before. Beg for forgiveness as they rearrange their schedules to accommodate your oversight.
Three days before event: FINALLY put the menu and shopping list you've had jumbling around in your ADHD brain down on paper. Realize you have not planned any activities for the kids, so you manically search various websites to find appropriate things to do. And then remember that the party is at a playground, DUH. The kids are going to want to play, not do some crazy craft. Then, visit local party store and discover that you should not have listened to your husband when he told you to not order the cool butterfly and bug plates from an online merchant. Leave store with nondescript "spring" colored plates and napkins, butterfly loot bags for the girls and bug loot bags for the boys.
And a pinata. Oh wait, no pinata, but candy and other crappy crap for the pinata, but no ACTUAL pinata. Brilliant, no?
Why?
Crap. Here's where it gets political.
Because the only semi-relevant entomological (sorry: buggy-looking) pinata is a Bratz butterfly pinata. We can't have Bratz because (a) Mommy hates what they represent, and (b) although Bratz, in their impish, prematurely sexualized persona, are aptly "bug-eyed", they simply do not coordinate well with the whole Spring/bug/nature/gender-neutral/non-commercialized vibe attempting to be conveyed (the same vibe not one single person attending will ever fully comprehend, acknowledge or appreciate but ME, yours truly, Manic Birthday Party Mom).
Two days before event: try to figure out how you're going to write a five-page paper, do a take-home quiz, work Friday night, attend class all day Saturday and then ANOTHER birthday party Saturday night, and still manage to prepare four dozen butterfly, dirt-and-bugs, and now, by request from the birthday girl herself, LADYBUG cupcakes. And finish the shopping for the party. And not have a nervous breakdown.
Any ideas?
I could kick myself right square in the boo-tay. I do this EVERY. DAMN. YEAR. And every year I vow not to do it again, and yet again, here I am. I need not mention the 2006 Castle Cake Building Conference of Southern New
Jersey, do I? I know, I know. Great ideas, awful planning and execution. Story of my damn life I tell you. I think I just need to get a damn grip and go to Chuck-E-Cheese like every other semi-emotionally stable parent. You know, the ones who aren't trying to over-compensate for their own lack of birthday parties as a child.
Tune in for the next installment to see if Manic Birthday Party Mom actually pulls it all off . . .
Friday afternoon when I came home from work, dearest daughter complained
that her shushie was itching her. (Shushie is our household name for our
girly bits). She then went on to ask "so can you get some of that cream and
put that cream on it and some flour?"
Perplexed and intrigued, I asked "Flour? Like the kind we use when we make
cookies?"
"NO! Not that kind, Mommy, the kind in the thing in the bathroom."
I, of course, busted out laughing. "Do you mean POWDER, Katie?"
"Yeah! That one! The powder, Mommy. I NEED it."
In response to the incessant chorus of "I'm bored" coming from Katie yesterday, I went on a quest last night to find websites with neat and interesting craft projects the kids could do without blowing up the house or killing each other. I came across a billion cute ideas (that Google, I swear I don't know how I ever functioned without it), one of which is a paper plate bunny you make by gluing cotton balls and whatnot to paper plates. So after seeing Katie off to school this morning, the Boy and I headed to the local dollar store to replenish our craft supplies. I loaded up on construction paper, glue, glitter, watercolors, colored tissue paper and, of course, cotton balls.
As we were walking home this afternoon from picking Katie up at the bus stop, I explained to my two darlings that Mommy had an exciting fun thing for them to do today when we got home. Jon was oblivious to my excitement, but Katie was enthralled and enthusiastic. So I get them all settled at our kitchen counter and explain what we're doing. It started out ok, until Jonathan decided that he didn't care about the cotton balls, he'd prefer to just empty the four bottles of glue onto the paper plate. My attempts to redirect him into sticking on the cotton balls were met with what I have come to know as "the fits." He was not a happy fella when I had to take the glue away. So he got mad, and screamed, saying "I WANT IT!! I WANT IT!!!" over and over until Katie and I thought for sure our eardrums were going to explode. Finally, he calmed down momentarily to finish sticking on his cotton balls and his googly eyes, and then he somehow got ahold of the glue again and squirted more on TOP of them. Oy.
I get the brilliant idea to seize this opportunity to add more pizzazz to his bunny by letting him shake some glitter on top. Bad, bad idea. He dumped almost a whole bottle of red glitter on his project, so when I took his bunny away to shake off the excess glitter, well, you would have thought I beat him. I then attempted to put him down for a nap, which pissed him off all the more, and so he screamed and tantrumed for a good 10 minutes. I'm certain my neighbor was ready to call CPS on me with the way he was carrying on.
Obviously, engaging him in crafts before his nap is NOT a smart idea, so I get a big DUH for today. It also became apparent the difference in crafting with a toddler and crafting with a preschooler. I present to you Jonathan's bunny:
Inspired by Picasso, perhaps? Notice how his bunny is earless -- we did not make it that far because of the tantrum that ensued after the glitter fiasco.
And then, Katie's bunny:
Also, a word to the wise, if you have tiled countertops with grout lines -- DO NOT let your kids use glitter anywhere near them. I have spent the last hour scraping glitter out of the grout with a toothbrush. This was definitely not the calm, happy, creative and engaging experience I had envisioned.
. . . how I entertained them by doing the dance that Goofy does from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (the Mousekedance), and how they laughed until they couldn't breathe
Just in case you need a visual, click here, then click on "Hot Diggity Dog"
And yes, I have no shame when it comes to making my kids laugh. :0)
