4 posts tagged “manic birthday party mom”
Manic Birthday Party Mom has officially been laid to rest.
Yes, sorry to disappoint, but Katie's upcoming six year fete will not be the crazed, overthemed/underplanned extravaganza that I have been known for in years past. There will be no erections of the Barbie Dream House in birthday cake. I don't even have any immediate plans for an intricately designed birthday invitation as I have been known for in years past (although that might change this weekend -- I could use a sample for my portfolio, so the effort would be worth it for the business). Nope. This year, per the request of the Queen herself, she wants a simple birthday party at a local indoor playzone (think Little Gym but for bigger kids), where they provide not only all the fun a child can have in a single hour, but all the paper goods, balloons, and even pizza and juice. All I have to show up with is my person, my two chillruns, and enough cupcakes for the brood. Oh, and a #6 candle so she can blow it out.
How will I ever manage to not turn this simple affair into grounds for divorce? Shawn won't know what to do with himself and all the time he'll have to sit and, well, breathe, without my having him run to every candy store on the East Coast to find the exact type and color of gummy fruit slices.
I'm certain I'll manage to overcomplicate matters somehow. Oh yes, favors. Yeah. I'll make that a clusterfuck in no time flat.
Yesterday I woke with the intentions of getting all the party photos organized along with a detailed update of how the whole birthday party extravaganza went on Sunday. Shortly after I got the photo slideshow together, I did something to my back and have not been able to function since. I can't bend from the waist and I can barely walk without a great deal of pain. I even resorted to taking some leftover percocet from Jonathan's c-section, which did not do much other than make me loopy and sleepy. I am on my way to the doctor this morning to see what my options are as far as treatment. I'm really scared. The pain makes it nearly impossible to do anything for the kids, and that is where the fear really takes hold. I'm trying not to let the fear get the best of me, but when you can't do simple things for yourself or for your kids, like getting their clothes out or getting them dressed or preparing their food, without feeling sharp stabs in your back, it starts to mess with your head.
In any event, the party was a blast. From the feedback we got from our many little guests and their parents, it was a success. I hope to provide a more detailed update at some point, but right now sitting here is quite painful, so I must adjourn. Below is the link for the photo montage created yesterday for the party.
The Double-Buggin Birthday Bash 2007
ETA: for those who work for Nazis, here's a link to photos posted on my website: Birthday Pics
In honor of the upcoming fete on Sunday celebrating the births of my darling daughter and son (oops, only four months late, sorry buddy), I give you a primer on how to pull off a half-assed joint birthday party for two kids:
Two months before event: find and book location (cool, cheap, area park with playground and pavilion), determine theme (bugs and butterflies), make a vague mental list of the party food and guest list. Spend an entire day extracting images of bugs and butterflies in Photoshop to be utilized as custom graphic brushes for the custom, personalized profesionally-printed invitations you've decided to make in your spare stolen time. Agonize over catchy invitation wording (many Google searches involved). Contemplate the social etiquette of having a birthday party for both of your children and determine how this will be perceived by other parents. Decide to design two invitations -- one for Katie only to take to her classmates at school and the other for friends and family, for fear that classmates' parents would be offended or think they would be obligated to bring the kid's little bro a birthday present. Find the cutest butterfly and dirt/bug cupcakes EVAH on some website and plan to incorporate them into the party. Don't write ANYTHING down because, of course, you can remember all of the details. You're smart like that, right? And, last but not least, completely shift your attention to everything else BUT. Don't give planning another thought because hey, you've got a whole two months to get everything sorted out.
Three weeks before event: Upload completed invitations to online printer because you totally forgot to do this sooner. Pray that they are delivered quickly so they can be distributed. Forget to hand-deliver four invitations to your neighbors. Inform them verbally about the party a week before. Beg for forgiveness as they rearrange their schedules to accommodate your oversight.
Three days before event: FINALLY put the menu and shopping list you've had jumbling around in your ADHD brain down on paper. Realize you have not planned any activities for the kids, so you manically search various websites to find appropriate things to do. And then remember that the party is at a playground, DUH. The kids are going to want to play, not do some crazy craft. Then, visit local party store and discover that you should not have listened to your husband when he told you to not order the cool butterfly and bug plates from an online merchant. Leave store with nondescript "spring" colored plates and napkins, butterfly loot bags for the girls and bug loot bags for the boys.
And a pinata. Oh wait, no pinata, but candy and other crappy crap for the pinata, but no ACTUAL pinata. Brilliant, no?
Why?
Crap. Here's where it gets political.
Because the only semi-relevant entomological (sorry: buggy-looking) pinata is a Bratz butterfly pinata. We can't have Bratz because (a) Mommy hates what they represent, and (b) although Bratz, in their impish, prematurely sexualized persona, are aptly "bug-eyed", they simply do not coordinate well with the whole Spring/bug/nature/gender-neutral/non-commercialized vibe attempting to be conveyed (the same vibe not one single person attending will ever fully comprehend, acknowledge or appreciate but ME, yours truly, Manic Birthday Party Mom).
Two days before event: try to figure out how you're going to write a five-page paper, do a take-home quiz, work Friday night, attend class all day Saturday and then ANOTHER birthday party Saturday night, and still manage to prepare four dozen butterfly, dirt-and-bugs, and now, by request from the birthday girl herself, LADYBUG cupcakes. And finish the shopping for the party. And not have a nervous breakdown.
Any ideas?
I could kick myself right square in the boo-tay. I do this EVERY. DAMN. YEAR. And every year I vow not to do it again, and yet again, here I am. I need not mention the 2006 Castle Cake Building Conference of Southern New
Jersey, do I? I know, I know. Great ideas, awful planning and execution. Story of my damn life I tell you. I think I just need to get a damn grip and go to Chuck-E-Cheese like every other semi-emotionally stable parent. You know, the ones who aren't trying to over-compensate for their own lack of birthday parties as a child.
Tune in for the next installment to see if Manic Birthday Party Mom actually pulls it all off . . .
